Treatment foster care is a special, intensive service available to many children in the foster care system who have elevated behavioral, mental health, or medical needs. Often for a child to be placed into treatment foster care, they have had to disrupt previous placements or proven to be “difficult to care for”. Treatment foster care is often the last, least restrictive environment children can go to before needing a placement in a residential facility. Our goal as treatment foster care providers mirrors the goal of all child welfare agencies; which is for children who require out of home placements, to be in as few homes as possible with a healing caregiver, this is called placement stability. Unfortunately, due to the nature of our program being the last stop for children, we often do not get children until they have been in 3-4 placements; in fact, the average number of placements for a child in foster care is between 5-6, with many youth and children experiencing as many as ten or more.
Placement stability means that through the good and bad you stick it out for the child until they reach their permanency (forever home). This is exactly what Marquetta and Reginald King did for their foster child A.C. who was just reunified home to his family in October 2018 after spending two years in foster care. A.C. arrived at the King residence in 2016 as his first placement and entry into foster care. Marquetta and Reginald took him in and despite setbacks, challenges, and barriers over the years, the King family was able to remain A.C.’s one and only family experience of foster care. To say that Marquetta and Reginald achieved placement stability is an understatement; less than 10% of children in foster care experience 1-2 placements. Words cannot express the magnitude of gratitude for the Kings and many of the families at the Arc-NCR who stick with their children through the good and the bad, they are the true heroes.
“I try to employ the 9 fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), which are listed in a frame in my kitchen, daily. If I can embody even a fraction of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, I know that I can weather the storm of nurturing and providing a loving home to a child who has been displaced and is angry at the world. “
– Marquetta King
Marquetta also gave these tactics for how she managed A.C.’s placement and other placements:
Diversion: Creating even a 20 second diversion is enough to deescalate a situation. For example, loudly questioning, while pointing to the back yard through the kitchen window or while driving in the car "did you see that!" right in the middle of a heated argument usually works. It takes the focus off the adverse issue or argument and lets the brain focus on trying to quickly see the thing being pointed out. Humorously, phantom objects are followed up with "oh, I guess you missed it."
Pre-discussion: Choosing a light-hearted unrelated topic, or nearby object to discuss before addressing an adverse behavior lightens the reprimand. Example...before talking about a school suspension I may talk about how much money he has saved in his piggy bank on the dresser, how old he is in a photo on the night stand or pick up his bible and ask what the last scripture was he has read.
Humor: Skillfully getting the agitated person to smile or laugh, or the people around them to laugh is valuable. Daily humor creates a lighter mood in the home overall. Sometimes it's at my expense.
Alternative advisors: Kids sometime welcome advice quicker from those other than their parents. I would often have a social worker, DSS worker, CASA, or teacher give advice or counsel that supported what I was trying to convey. Surprisingly, having a sibling speak to another sibling was often effective.
Positive vs negative statements: Putting a positive spin on discussions always helps. Examples: "If you do your homework you can have electronics, as opposed to "if you don't do your homework, you won't have electronics. Homework was always an issue with A.C.
Giving a kid choices and options: Allowing a kid to choose or giving them options gives them a sense of being in control. Using this tactic worked very well with A.C., and other placements where prior to coming into care they called the shots and lived in an environment with little or no parental authority. Examples...instead of "go clean your room now" use "clean your room by 5:00;” you can't go to your friend’s house today, but you can go this weekend or one day next week."
Supervision, supervision, supervision: Knowing where a child is, and what they are doing, whether in the community or at home is a priority. A.C. required constant supervision.
- Briana Johnson
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